Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Single Girl Snippet: How to Save $9.35

After years and years of pining, I finally bought an Excalibur dehydrator (Aside - after shopping around, I found the best price to be at, and you can click here for a $10 off coupon).

Unfortunately, I wasn't home when Canada Post came to my door. The Post Office is a 2 km walk from home. When I showed the Canada Post employee (C) my parcel redemption form, we had the following conversation:

C: Are you alone?
M: Yes.
C: Did you bring a car?
M: No.
C: You'll have to come back with a car.
M: I don't actually own a car, so that will be problematic.
C: Take a cab.
M: Why?
C: The box is too heavy for you.
Now, I am a wee bit stubborn -- being told something is too hard for me is like daring me to do it.
M: How heavy is the box?
C: Too heavy. 25.
M: Pounds or kilograms?
C: Well, there's a sticker. The sticker says 50 lbs. You won't be able to lift it.

M: Fine. I'll take a cab.
C: Go get yourself a carriage to bring it to the front of the store.

I reached over and grabbed the box. My arms barely reached around it. It felt very light. I was in a bit of a snit by this point. I carried the box out the front door. A surprised looking clerk wished me a nice day. I kept walking. And so the adventure began:
-A middle aged guy just outside the door looked at me and said a loud "Phhhssssht!" while shaking his head.
-A few hundred metres later, another guy flexed his biceps at me and exclaimed "Whoa, muscles!"
-People stared. Blatantly.
-One lady made a face at me that looked like Edvard Munch's The Screamer:

I eventually caught a glimpse of my own reflection and realized how ridiculous I looked. The box is big enough that I am fairly sure I could fit inside it and close the top. It wasn't long before the box stopped feeling light and instead felt very heavy and awkward. I was passing through a big park, and I needed to stop at virtually every bench or bike stand to readjust my grip on the box. I tried to do this in as natural-looking a manner as possible. At one point, I thought my biceps were going to explode. So, I ever so casually sat down on a bench and perched an arm over my ginormous box. Oddly enough, no one else in the park was taking their dehydrator out for a walk today.

Finally, mercifully, I made it back to my apartment building. I live on the 3rd story of a walk-up. Lifting the box up the three flights of spiral metal stairs was grueling. However, I managed to get the box into the apartment.

I was exhausted. And starved. Preparing dinner was a challenge because I had no arm strength left. My fork felt like it weighed 100 lbs. Even the banana I ate for dessert was a challenge. (I'm thinking of launching a new diet -- first you exercise your arms to exhaustion, then you try to feed yourself a meal. It would totally work.) Anyhow, the crazy part about this whole silly adventure is that, as mentioned, the postal outlet is literally 2 km from here. According to the city's website, cab fare would have been $9.35. All this over less than ten bucks.  I need to learn to keep things simple.

1 comment:

  1. That's really funny! Michelle and I have done things like this too! You think it's going to be fine and you refuse to change your mind, especially since as you get closer, the idea of paying for transportation seems more and more like a waste of money!