After years and years of pining, I finally bought an Excalibur dehydrator (Aside - after shopping around, I found the best price to be at www.rawnutrition.ca, and you can click here for a $10 off coupon).
Unfortunately, I wasn't home when Canada Post came to my door. The Post Office is a 2 km walk from home. When I showed the Canada Post employee (C) my parcel redemption form, we had the following conversation:
C: Are you alone?
C: Did you bring a car?
C: You'll have to come back with a car.
M: I don't actually own a car, so that will be problematic.
C: Take a cab.
C: The box is too heavy for you.
Now, I am a wee bit stubborn -- being told something is too hard for me is like daring me to do it.
M: How heavy is the box?
C: Too heavy. 25.
M: Pounds or kilograms?
C: Well, there's a sticker. The sticker says 50 lbs. You won't be able to lift it.
C: Go get yourself a carriage to bring it to the front of the store.
I reached over and grabbed the box. My arms barely reached around it. It felt very light. I was in a bit of a snit by this point. I carried the box out the front door. A surprised looking clerk wished me a nice day. I kept walking. And so the adventure began:
-A middle aged guy just outside the door looked at me and said a loud "Phhhssssht!" while shaking his head.
-A few hundred metres later, another guy flexed his biceps at me and exclaimed "Whoa, muscles!"
-People stared. Blatantly.
-One lady made a face at me that looked like Edvard Munch's The Screamer:
I eventually caught a glimpse of my own reflection and realized how ridiculous I looked. The box is big enough that I am fairly sure I could fit inside it and close the top. It wasn't long before the box stopped feeling light and instead felt very heavy and awkward. I was passing through a big park, and I needed to stop at virtually every bench or bike stand to readjust my grip on the box. I tried to do this in as natural-looking a manner as possible. At one point, I thought my biceps were going to explode. So, I ever so casually sat down on a bench and perched an arm over my ginormous box. Oddly enough, no one else in the park was taking their dehydrator out for a walk today.
Finally, mercifully, I made it back to my apartment building. I live on the 3rd story of a walk-up. Lifting the box up the three flights of spiral metal stairs was grueling. However, I managed to get the box into the apartment.
I was exhausted. And starved. Preparing dinner was a challenge because I had no arm strength left. My fork felt like it weighed 100 lbs. Even the banana I ate for dessert was a challenge. (I'm thinking of launching a new diet -- first you exercise your arms to exhaustion, then you try to feed yourself a meal. It would totally work.) Anyhow, the crazy part about this whole silly adventure is that, as mentioned, the postal outlet is literally 2 km from here. According to the city's website, cab fare would have been $9.35. All this over less than ten bucks. I need to learn to keep things simple.