Saturday, 8 September 2012

UPDATE: Was He Flirting With Me?

Ladies and gentlemen, we now have closure on the issue of "Was he flirting with me?"

Answer: Yes.

Yesterday, I received an email from my coworker. I will paraphrase it below:

Remember my roommate, Matt? You met him when I had our group over for drinks that time. Well, he wants to learn to dance. You mentioned recently that you would like to learn to dance, too. So, let me know if you're interested in taking tango lessons with Matt and I'll put the two of you in touch.

Photo Source

Here is the dilemma:
Matt is a good-looking guy, a couple years my junior. He was quite pleasant when we met, but I can tell you right now that there is something about him that is a total deal-breaker when it comes to having a relationship. Is it kosher to sign up for tango lessons with him anyways? It makes me feel like a bit of a schmuck.

Voting time:

YES - it's totally kosher. It's not like dance lessons are a marriage proposal. It's not even a formal date. Enjoy the muscle-y eye candy and flirtatious dance moves!

NO - Tango is a fairly sensual dance. Agreeing to to the lessons is kind of like agreeing to a date. If you're really convinced there is zero chance of a relationship, then invest your time and energy elsewhere.


  1. i vote: yes

    1) learning to tango would be fun!
    2) guys are great to hang out with (especially cute ones)
    3) dancing does not equal dating but even if it did, dating does not equal relationship!
    4) a younger guy probably isn't looking for anything other than a fun time with a pretty girl (who couldn't use a little fun?)
    5) flirting is like the best mood-lifter on earth. once/week dancing and flirting sounds AWESOME to me

    my two cents ;)

  2. I vote NO. He will probably feel like you're leading him on. Even if you put your cards on the table and he agreed to "just be friends", he would always hope that the relationship would develop into something more.

  3. As my SO says, there is a difference between "romantic chemistry" and "dance chemistry." A dance partner is not a life partner. You might dance really well with him but that doesn't mean you need to marry him. After you learn to tango you will be able to perform this dance with total strangers on the spot and you will not need to marry any of them either. My SO has had two dance partners in three years and is good friends with both of them...and he is not interested in relationships with either of them, obviously. Dancing with this guy does not obligate you to even one date! So my vote is YES.

    1. P.S. I forgot to add: professional dance couples such as the one in your picture are hardly ever couples in real life!

  4. There was one YES via text message, and two NO's in person...
    Tally so far: 3 YES, 3 NO.

  5. Maybe- you never know if this guy may become a very good friend but at the same time if he really likes you and you continue to feel you aren't interested in him it may lead you to a tough spot. This guy for example may see these classes as an opportunity to move forward into a relationship...however, I also agree that saying yes doesn't mean you are agreeing to a relationship. I guess just be careful and mindful of how your actions may impact him and you (although because you are a caring person I know you'll do this!).