Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Facebook Relapse

For some reason, I felt compelled to quickly "check on" my Facebook account. Bad Idea.

Things I Learned When I Reactivated my Facebook Account
1.       There was a party a number of my friends attended that I was not invited to.

2.       My ex-husband’s sister thinks Facebook is an entirely appropriate venue to comment on her brother’s (and my) relationship.

3.       I was 'unfriended' by a girl I never particularly liked, and yet it still somehow bothered me to be unfriended.

4.       Lots of random people I do not know are getting engaged/married/pregnant. I know this because their photos and announcements all show up in my “Facebook news.”

5.       In spite of the fact that I have a really great life, Facebook perusing somehow made me feel like I wasn't measuring up. 

6.       Facebook is addictive. That stupid “People You May Know” thing gets me every time. Why? Because usually I do know those people. And by know them, I mean I recognize their name and vaguely recall who our mutual acquaintance might be. This is usually enough to get me to click on the profile. I mean really, what if the person turns out to be a long-lost BFF and I didn’t friend them instantly – that would be so cyber-rude.

7.       The Facebook sharing experience knows no limits. Prime example: “Lacie just needed to pee during our multi-hour car trip.” You would think that most adults could manage to read about Lacie’s pee break and get on with their lives. But no. There was a flurry of Facebook activity. Dozens of comments, literally. I've seen birth announcements get less response.

8.       I changed my Facebook status (which, historically, I have done about four times per year). Then, I felt compelled to hit refresh somewhat compulsively over the next few hours. Why? I am embarrassed to admit how every ‘like’ and comment somehow fed my ego. I even experienced warm fuzzy feeling towards these likers and commentators. “Oh, Tim ‘likes’ my status – and you know what, suddenly, I really like Tim.

9.       My closest friends and family had all been in touch with me in “real life” while my Facebook account was deactivated. I had not missed out on any important news.

10.  Most importantly: My Facebook relapse did not bring me joy.

I am clearly the kind of Facebook addict that needs to go cold turkey. One little taste of Facebook seemed so harmless -- that was a number of hours ago. I think the next step is to go through my list of 165 ‘friends’ and provide contact info to the handful or so who I rarely see due to geographical constraints, but that I actually would like to keep in touch with. Then, I hope to gather my courage and not only deactivate but permanently delete my Facebook account.


  1. I completely agree that the way facebook is used is often obnoxious and ends up being a complete information overload.

    Lately I have been using facebook as more of a blog and am having fun posting photos and "clippets" of events and things that are important to me. I've had a really great response and have consciously avoided posting details that people really don't care about.

    Sadly not everyone thinks about what they post!

  2. Sounds like you have found a very positive way to use Facebook.
    I think Facebook, like anything, can be good or bad depending on how it is used. I may eventually give it another try. If I do, I hope my Facebook friends adopt your posting strategy! :-)

  3. Permanently delete it!?!?! NOOO! Don't do it!
    I agree that it can be an terrible time drain. I also agree that it is not necessary to follow the events of people who you kinda knew before at some point in your life.....

    But.... I recall that 3 years ago I bought a cute little address book that I was going to write down people's contact information in and be super organized. Guess what, the cute little address book is sitting on the book shelf, not a single entry. I realized I never was going to spend the time to fill out this address book, because if I needed someone's address, I would just message them on facebook.

    Also...the dreaded phone switch. I hate how you loose so much contact information with the change of a cell phone. I have friends who I will plan to visit when I find myself in their city, but whose phone numbers I no longer have in my current phone. Friends who are important to me, but that I don't contact on a regular basis by phone.

    Anyways, I know you will figure out what is best for you and your happiness, but I just thought I would offer a different perspective to consider.

    Can you guess who this is?

    P.s. what is all this talk of finding montreal friend, you already have that! I believe we used to refer to it as BBOP.

    1. Dear Anonymous,
      Thank you for your comment on this blog.:-)
      I knew who you were when I reached the "NOOOO."
      I am actually rethinking my position on Facebook. Perhaps a great purge and then moderate use may be possible. Mulling it over...
      As for a BFF quest -- this is one area where the stars have aligned in my life, and I actually am sooooo blessed to already have a number of A+ friends. And, though I am open to making some new friends, I will always only have one BBOP. ;-)