Sunday, 26 August 2012

I See You Have Big Legs

Friends of mine have two young kids who I adore. I've offered to baby-sit to give them some time out sans children. Today, they took me up on my offer. I had a great time, but I will wholeheartedly admit that my six hour playdate reconfirmed my belief that stay-at-home parents have one of the toughest jobs on the planet. I mean, the baby had a five-alarm meltdown when I stuck her in her crib for 30 seconds so I could pee without worrying she would tumble down the stairs or stick her finger in an electrical socket. That said, these kids are just delightful - and quite entertaining - and I am already looking forward to our next visit.

Excerpt from a conversation between me (M) and the four-year-old(F):

F: Okay, who wants bubblegum who is old enough?
There was definitely a snide look in the general direction of her younger sister, who was decidedly too young for bubblegum. She then looked over at me.
F: How about you?
M: Oh, I don't think I will be having any bubblegum today. Thank you for offering though.
F: But, you look old enough -- I see you have big legs.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. All this time, bars and liquor stores have been asking for facial photo ID when really, it's the size of your legs that matters.

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