Swing Dancing: 2 guys and 1 girl

Photo Source

As part of my effort to a) be more social, and b) figure out what to do with my arms while dancing (see previous posts: Zumba and Azonto), I decided to give swing dancing a try. A quick Google search confirmed that drop-in, introductory lessons were available in my area. I intended to go regardless of whether or not I would know anyone there. That said, I (M) tossed out an invite to my coworkers (C):

M: So, I'm going to go swing dancing on Saturday. Do you want to come? The intro drop-in lesson is $5, and there's an open practice night.
C1: Actually, I would like to go!
M: That's great!
I turned to another coworker.
M: Me and C1 are going swing dancing on Saturday. You should come!
C2: Yeah, maybe. We'll see.
Next coworker.
M: C1 and I are going swing dancing on Saturday. C2 might come, too. You should totally join us. It's going to be great.
C3: I actually love swing dancing!
Who knew I had such cool coworkers?

Anyhow, I invited all eight of my coworkers and successfully recruited two of them for the event (and a third joined us for post-dance drinks). My two recruits were both male. I'm sure the instructor (I) was trying to figure out just what exactly was going on when we walked in together, because he said:

I: You're going to have to choose between your boys to partner up for the lesson.

Slightly awkward situation given that I don't really know either of these guys especially well. But, I'm not going to lie, it is fun walking into a dance lesson sandwiched between two boys. I chose C1 to start. In spite of our great enthusiasm, we did not demonstrate any real natural swing dance talent. In fact, we somehow ended up moving backwards at a furious pace every time we danced together -- numerous near-collisions with walls, posts, a desk, other people. Luckily, C1 found this situation as hilarious as I did, and we spent most of the lesson laughing. C3 can actually dance. He's a good lead. We didn't laugh as much, but I was glad he came out for the evening.

During the practice session, I was asked to dance by some of the other male attendees.

Excerpt from conversation between one of these guys  (G) and me (M) past the midway point in the song we were dancing to:
G: Do you know the basic the step for this style?
M: Nope. 

I thought that was a very nice way of telling me I wasn't especially good. My beginner lesson had been in East Coast swing. This, I learned, is not the same thing as West Coast swing. My fake-it-til-you-make-it strategy failed. On the bright side, the male leads in both East Coast swing and West Coast swing - meaning that the guy essentially decides what the girl needs to do with her arms at all times. This appeals to me.

C1 and I have already made plans to go swing dancing again this weekend. We intend to become superstars by the end of the year (watch out, So You Think You Can Dance!). And, we are going to convince our other coworkers they all secretly harbour desires to become really good swing dancers so that our workgroup kicks butt at the next work talent show.

Karate Part III: Sayings From Sensei

Last week, Sensei said:
If you don't understand the directives, ASK for clarification!

This week, Sensei said:
A white belt should be seen, but NOT heard. You got it?! A white belt should NEVER open their mouth in a karate dojo! They learn by imitating. That's it.


Take a guess as to who both comments were directed at. Yup, this little white belt right here. The second comment was in response to me engaging in dialogue with a black belt who was working one-on-one with me. I'm actually fairly shy and generally don't say much at all in big groups.

I work long hours at what most people would consider a fairly stressful job. The precious time I have outside work I tend to devote to either a) things that need to be done, and b) things that make me happy. Getting yelled at twice/week in karate does not fall into either camp.

So, the debate is really as follows:

A - Toughen up. Work hard. Eventually, I'll get the hang of how this dojo rolls and get back to the level I was at when I stopped training nearly 10 years ago. I really would like to get my black belt eventually.

vs

B - Decide that life is too short to intentionally subject myself to being yelled at and feeling sad as part of my recreational time. Join a yoga class and run club instead.

Any thoughts ?

I See You Have Big Legs

Friends of mine have two young kids who I adore. I've offered to baby-sit to give them some time out sans children. Today, they took me up on my offer. I had a great time, but I will wholeheartedly admit that my six hour playdate reconfirmed my belief that stay-at-home parents have one of the toughest jobs on the planet. I mean, the baby had a five-alarm meltdown when I stuck her in her crib for 30 seconds so I could pee without worrying she would tumble down the stairs or stick her finger in an electrical socket. That said, these kids are just delightful - and quite entertaining - and I am already looking forward to our next visit.

Excerpt from a conversation between me (M) and the four-year-old(F):

F: Okay, who wants bubblegum who is old enough?
There was definitely a snide look in the general direction of her younger sister, who was decidedly too young for bubblegum. She then looked over at me.
F: How about you?
M: Oh, I don't think I will be having any bubblegum today. Thank you for offering though.
F: But, you look old enough -- I see you have big legs.


There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. All this time, bars and liquor stores have been asking for facial photo ID when really, it's the size of your legs that matters.

Get Your Azonto On!

As some of you may remember, I am perplexed by what exactly one does with their arms during freestyle dancing. Always open to new solutions to this predicament (so far, having a glass of wine in each hand seems like my best bet), I recently stumbled across Azonto. Azonto is an African dance from Ghana, which reportedly is gaining mega popularity here in North America. According to Wikipedia, "Azonto, when taught effectively, can be learned within ten minutes." 10 minutes?! I had to check it out.

And so, I present to you for today's daily dose of dancercise: AZONTO!

Here is part one:

Part two of the tutorial from the self-proclaimed "Chosen one of Africa" for all you budding Azonto keensters out there:

If you watch part two, I recommend stopping the video one minute before the end -- this way you'll avoid an annoying plea to rate the video/share the video. Immigration authorities and deportation are mentioned. That said, there are 4 or 5 different options as to what to do with your arms when dancing. This alone made watching the 8 minute clip totally worth it.

And lastly, if you're REALLY keen, here's a jazzy music clip to practice your new moves:

Enjoy!

Thought Bite: Good Morning, Beautiful!

I love this.

Someday, when I rejoin the world of dating, I hope I meet someone that sends me a "Good morning, beautiful!" text every now and again. I mean really, how can you have a bad day after getting a text like that when you wake up? That's right, you pretty much can't. It's like a garanteed good day. For free, and with a very minimal time investment.

Single Girl Snippet: Counselling

There are as many different ways of coping with trauma as there are people in the world. For lots of people, seeing a counsellor can be quite helpful. In the months before and after my separation, I gave it a try. Here's how it went:

Excerpts from conversations between a counsellor (C) and me (M):

Appointment #1: 2 months before separation
C: You know, I have to tell you -- I think I have a lot more in common with your husband than with you.
This comment startled me. I mean, really, who SAYS that to their counselling client?!
M: Um, ok. Well, clearly I'm not communicating well with him, so maybe you can offer me some insight into what he might be thinking.

Appointment #2: 1 month before separation
C: It sounds like you've already tried everything I am suggesting. Have you considered that maybe he is just brain-damaged?
M: Um, no, actually. That thought hadn't occurred to me.

Appointment #3:  1 week post separation
C: How long did you say you and your husband were together?
M: Six or seven years, I think. It’s a long time considering I’m only 29.
C: You know, I ended a relationship of 10 years.
M: That’s a very long time.
C: It really is.
M: I’m sure that must have been very difficult for you.
C: It was. It’s your whole life that changes.
M: So I’m learning.
C: And you know what the most difficult part was?
M: What?
C: The memories. We had shared so many memories together. This was someone who had walked with me a long time, and knew all the stories of my life over those ten years.
In my head: Oh my God, I hadn’t even thought of it that way! I’m losing a quarter of my life worth of memories in this divorce! How distressing!!!  Out loud:
M: I can appreciate how that would be pretty tough.

Appointment #5: 1 month post separation
C: So, you seem to have a number of stressors other than just the divorce on your plate right now.
M: Yes.
C: You know, I'm dealing with a similar situation myself.
M: I'm sorry to hear that.
C: Thanks. It's hard. No one expect these things.
M: True enough.
C: Came out of nowhere.
M: I understand. I hope everything works out ok for you.
C: Thanks. Well, we’re at the end of our time today. I think you should come back in next week.
M: We’ll see. I need to look at my schedule.
C: I think you really need it.
In my head: Uh lady, I think YOU really need the session more than I do. Out loud:
M: Um, ok. I’m not sure.

That was the end of counselling for me.

Low-Maintenance Entertaining

My goal this year is to host at least one gathering per month. Historically, I would get all riled up when I hosted anything and spend hours and hours preparing the house, food, and drinks. This high energy input generally resulted in good results, but I would be so tired afterwards that the idea of hosting anything again anytime soon was overwhelming.

So, time for a new strategy: I call it low-maintenance entertaining.

The basic tenets of this entertaining style are as follows:

1. More often than not, schedule gatherings for hours that do not overlap with meals.
2. When inviting guests, clearly state what you intend to offer them during their visit.
3. Actually just do what you said you would, rather than prepare eighteen different dishes "just in case." If you are hosting outside meal hours, no one is going to starve.
4. Invite your guests to bring their favourite appetizer and/or beverage to the gathering should they so choose.
5. Only say "you don't need to bring anything" when you really mean it.


For example, last week I invited a group of coworkers over for drinks and apps. The email invite went something like this:

Hi guys,
It's been a while since we all got together, so I am taking the opportunity to invite you over to my apartment Saturday evening. I am going to make an appetizer of some sort and open a bottle of wine. You are welcome to bring your favourite appetizer and/or beverage if you'd like.

Looking forward to seeing you!


Voila. People came. Some brought food, others brought wine. I opened said bottle of wine and made a large platter of hummus with veggies and gluten-free crackers. We had a great time, and the effort it took to put together the evening was minimal. So minimal, that I would be willing to do it again as early as next week.

How to Install a Curtain Rod

It dawned on me recently that perhaps my lack of curtains in my apartment was contributing to my lack of quality sleep. It just doesn't get that dark. I went to a local department store to try to fix this issue. Curtains are actually surprisingly expensive. So, I took the cheap way out and decided just to wall off the bed area with a curtain (my apartment is pseudo-open concept, with just a big opening in the wall delineating the "bedroom" from the living room area).

When I got home, I realized that I didn't really know how to install a curtain rod. So, I looked it up on YouTube:

It seemed simple enough. I had all the right tools.
Regrettably, my attempt at curtain rod installation was not as smooth and effortless as what is shown on the video.

First, I was trying to install a curtain rod on a solid wood window frame. I didn't think this made any difference; it is actually a huge deal. When I tried to hammer in my "wall supports" like on the video, they just sort of went kersplat and broke.

First text message to my brother (B):
M: Do I need wall supports if I am installing a curtain rod into solid wood?
B: Nope, screw into the wood n ur good. :)

So, I tried screwing into the wood. Didn't work especially well. So, frustrated, I took a hammer to the stupid thing.

Next text message:
M: Ummmm... can I just hammer the screw, or would that be bad?
B: Lol. It wouldn't go in properly and grab the wood.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Ok, so back to the screwdriver. By this point, I've destroyed the top of the screw (even I knew that was not a good thing). Clearly, this was a job that needed a drill.

Email a friend (F):
M: Random question: I don't suppose you own a drill?
F: Yes, it's all yours. I'll bring it to you this morning.

This particular friend is as awesome as they come. This is not the first time she has rescued me from a pickle. Back in business.

The screw still didn't screw in easily.

Phone call to 1-800-HIDADDY:
D: Sounds like you're using drywall screws. You need wood screws.
M: I didn't know they were two separate things. The curtain rod came with the drywall screws.
D: What drill bit are you using?
M: Uh, the one with the X on it.
D: You should be using a square-head. Bring your square-head drill bit with you to the hardware store and pick up some wood screws.

Off to the hardware store. I probably had a bit of a deer-in-headlights look when standing in front of the display of screws because it wasn't long before someone (S) offered to help me:

M: I need something like this (holding out the drywall screw) in its "wood screw" version with a square-head.
S: What are you using it for?
M: Installing a curtain rod. The rod is kinda heavy; it sits on three big hooks. The hooks are screwed into a solid wood frame.
S: How thick?
M: Like this (I showed a small space between my index and thumb.)
S: This is what you need. (He picked out a box in nanoseconds out of the like 300 that were on display.)

$2.52 later, and I'm back home.
Not surprisingly, with the right tools and the right screws, the job actually was easy peasy. 15 minutes, tops.

Results:

And this is how I discovered that the advertised width of the curtain panels is actually 4" wider than the actual width. An extra 8" across would have been nice. I need to decide whether it's worth returning the curtains, or just springing for a second set of panels. Any thoughts?



Single Girl Snippet: Just Call Me Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart

I stopped at a department store to shop for curtains on my way home from work. While standing in the middle of the store, trying to Google the dimensions of my Expedit bookshelf so I could select a wide enough curtain rod, I was accosted by a guy roughly my age.

Excerpt from conversation between this guy (G) and me (M):

G: I was wondering if you could help me with something.
In my head: 'No. I can't. Seriously?! Do I LOOK like I work here?! Can you not SEE I've had a really long day?!' Luckily, I managed to smile and say:
M: With what?
G: Well, I just redecorated a room in burgundy and grey. What would you suggest as an accent colour and for lighting?
In my head: 'Oh my God, I'm not your decorator. Ask your girlfriend. Oh wait, you probably don't have one or you wouldn't be asking some random girl in a department store for decorating advice. Ok, I get the whole single person thing. I actually do know a bit about colour theory. Let me think...'
Out loud:
M: I would go with a white/cream for your accent colour, and use indirect lighting to soften the feel of your room.
My advice was met with a very quizzical look.
M: Bounce the light off the wall or the ceiling.
G: Oh! Got it!
His whole face lit up.
G: Wow! Thanks so much!!! That's awesome!!!

And that was it. He raced off to the lighting section. This guy was SO happy. I felt rather guilty about my earlier non-helpful feelings and very glad I kept them to myself.

Now on Pinterest!

Click here to go to the Kissing Toads page.

Hello Readers,

Kissing Toads can now be found on Pinterest!

Thank you to Stacey for this suggestion.

There is a board set up for each month of this one-year project. I've pinned links to various post topics/resources as well as some ideas for related projects.

Enjoy!