LUSH Experience

As part of my quest to find gentler skin products, I wandered into LUSH one day. The staff were super friendly and helpful. I selected a couple different soaps to try out. When I paid for my $6 purchase, I was offered a gift card for a free facial or foot care experience.

Not the exact LUSH store, but this one looks a lot like it.
You can click on the photo for a link back to the blog I swiped it from.

Free is my favourite price.

Granted, this system is a clever sales ploy:
1. Get customer back into store.
2. Give them free stuff.
3. They fall in love with your product and keep buying it forever.
However, I happened to be in the market for new skincare products anyways. A free trial sounded like fun. And, the salespeople had been really kind and helpful without pressuring me to buy anything. I appreciated that.

When I walked into the store, I was greeted by a girl I will call Tammy. She was tall and somewhat rotund, and exudated a gentle confidence.

Excerpt from conversation between Tammy (T) and me (M):
T: What is your current skin care routine?
M: Routine? Uh, I use Spectro gel in the mornings. That's about it. I don't even wear makeup most of the time.
T: Ok. And what is your skin like?
I loved that there wasn't a hint of judgment in her 'ok' in response to my extreme low-maintenance approach to skincare. I've shocked cosmetics salespeople with this revelation before.
M: Mixed. Oh, and somewhat sensitive. I have to watch what products I use.
T: Alright, I know which products I will select for you. Just have a seat here. You can use the headband to pull back your hair, and I will put a cape on you to prevent product from getting on your clothes.
'Here' was right in the middle of the store. Anyone walking by could stop and watch my facial experience through the ginormous window if they so chose. Yikes.
Tammy came back with the products. She placed them on a table and stood behind me.
T: Just relax. You need to press your head into me. I will start by giving you a face massage.
Ok, so I like to think of myself as reasonably chill. However, 'relaxation' and 'press your head into my boobs' just don't go together in my books. Particularly when it's someone I just met, and I'm the featured product in the window display. Perhaps she could sense this, because the next thing she said was:
T: If you're uncomfortable, just say something and we'll change positions.
Oh, God. I wasn't sure how to delicately handle that situation. And, you know, I felt a certain amount of social pressure to just go with the flow.
M: I'm fine.
Meanwhile, my neck was getting really sore from maintaining the facial massage position without really pushing into Tammy's chest.
T: Next, we have the cream...

The rest of the facial was actually quite pleasant. My skin felt really soft afterwards. Tammy prepared a great little take-home bag of free samples so I can try everthing at home. She even wrote out instructions on how to use each product. There was no pressure to buy anything the same day (though I did get a couple things in the end). All in all, it was a good experience, though I'm not sure I would do it again.

Retail Therapy

Money Tree

First, as a disclaimer, I would just like to say that I am actually very frugal by nature. Not cheap, but frugal. I was the 8 year old who put her birthday money away in her savings account "for university." However, desperate times call for desperate measures. My separation was a desperate time.

As anyone who has been through a separation will tell you, it's not fun. And for many (most?) of us, it's not pretty, either. It's also a time when you're not feeling so great about yourself - because, after all, if you really were hot stuff, your husband would not have felt the need to go on a quest for a new soulmate while you were desperately trying to save your marriage.*

However, if ever there is a time when a little splurge will go a long way, this is it. I decided to allow some non-essential spending on things that would help me be my best self. Here is what happened:

1. Wardrobe Update
The combined stress of separation, moving, and work led to a 10-15 lb weight loss. Suddenly, a good chunk of my clothes didn't fit all that well. Purchasing a few classic items allowed me show up at work without feeling frumpy because my outfit was a size too big. Also, I gave myself permission to give away: a) all my dresses that reminded me of special occasions with my husband, and b) anything I just really didn't want to wear anymore.

2. The Revamping of My Undergarment Collection
A good day can become a great day when you know your bra and panties match. I'll leave it at that. Oh wait, actually I won't. During my underwear exploration, I happened to purchase some amazing lacy panties that make me think "Man, my butt looks great in these!" every time I wear them. Whether or not my posterior is embellished by these undergarments that - as of right now - no one else has ever seen, is inconsequential. The fact is, it totally gives me a bit of a self-esteem boost on a fairly regular basis (I bought three pairs). And so, I recommend to all women all over the world to find a pair of panties that makes them feel great. For themselves. This is about feeling good in your skin, not about what the rest of the world thinks. If granny panties work for you, go with that. (I, in fact, have a fairly large collection of granny panties. I exercise a lot - wedgies mid-jogging are the worst.)

3. Skincare Products
I spent a fair amount of money on good quality skincare products, which was quite the deviation from my regular routine of Spetro Jel only. For a while, I enjoyed the at-home spa moments with my clay masks and emu oil moisturizers. Eventually, I realized my new products were drying out my skin, and I went back to the Spectro Jel. That said, I still have no regrets about the whole project because it was so key at that time to feel a little pampered. I am now having a lot of fun exploring making my own skincare products.

4. Books
My collection has grown to include titles like Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are and other wellness books. I have also been reading inspirational titles like Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J. Stepanek and Bloom (Bloom was actually an incredibly thoughtful gift from a dear friend). I am trying to become more mindful in my day-to-day life. More indulgent have been my two new raw food uncookbooks, which brings us to....

5. Food
For someone of very average height and build, I spend an awful lot of money on food. Nutrition has been a huge focus of my self-care initiative, and healthy eating comes at a price. That said, I notice profound changes in my general sense of wellbeing when my diet is altered. Currently, I am on a bit of a raw food kick (just finished week 2). I feel that after everything I have been through over the last year, my body is in desperate need of rest and high-quality fuel to repair itself. So, I plan to continue eating copious quantities of fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds for now (and likely eventually reincorporate some animal protein in the not so distance future).

6. And I'm not done...
There are a few more indulgences planned on the horizon once my finances stabilize again:
- Food dehydrator
- Juicer
- Gym membership
- Girls' trip to Las Vegas
- Medicinal plant workshop

And so, I close this post by saying that although I do not recommend spending with reckless abandon, separation is a time when perhaps that splurge you have been debating is especially appropriate. It's a time to take care of yourself and a time to heal.




*For the record, months later, you will realize that you really are hot stuff, and that your now ex-husband is an idiot. The transition to this epiphany is a little rocky though.

Music as Medicine

I am a music lover.

My first piano lesson was twenty years ago. It was love at first lesson. I eventually became a piano teacher before moving away to go to school. My days of dedicated practice and classical training are behind me (well, let's say on the back burner at the very least), but it seems that it is during times of chaos that I spend the most time on the piano bench. I have practiced a lot in recent months. My fingers remember old classical favourites, and I can sightread proficiently enough to get through most popular songbooks.

Music has a way of not just evoking memories, but feelings. I find sometimes I'll latch onto a song that seems to match my mood of the moment and play it over and over. Somehow, it makes me feel better. Since separating from my husband, I have moved through the following chronology:

1. Stronger (Kelly Clarkson) & Gotta Be (Des'Ree) This was my "suck it up and get through this" phase shortly after separating.

2. The Glory of Love (Peter Cetera) & God Gave Me You (Blake Shelton) I'm going to call this my "self-inflicted, salt-in-wound" phase. It made me cry to be reminded of the tremendous loss in my life -- somehow, this didn't stop me from playing these songs multiple times per day. People mourn in funny ways, I guess. 

3. Turning Tables (Adele) & Should've Said No (Taylor Swift) Current, apparently somewhat "angry" phase. (As an aside to all the piano players in the crowd, the sheet music book for Adele's 21 album is excellent.)

Anyone else out there use music as medicine?

Single Girl Snippet: Happy First Un-Anniversary to Me

Today, I invite you to share stories of how you spent your first un-anniversary post separation/divorce/bad breakup (there is an 'anonymous' posting option in the comments toggle menu, if you so wish). Here, I'll go first:

I spent most of the day with a good friend who was visiting from out of town. She didn't know that today was the day. This was on purpose. I'm trying to transition from today being super special to this date being just another summer day. Not making a big deal of things seemed like a good plan. After dropping off my friend at the train station, I ended up going bikini shopping. This was not planned. A store window had a sale sign; I need a new bathing suit.

Three bathing suit stores later and nothing to show for it, I found myself trying on formal dresses on a whim. I gave away all my dresses that reminded me of milestones with my husband, so I thought it would be nice to have something tucked in my closet should a formal occasion arise. I found one little peach number that I just loved. It was very short. I am not. This did not perturb me. This dress was not only super cute, it was on sale. How could I resist? I sat down in the change room facing a mirror. This was when I realized I would have to remember to tug on the dress before sitting down so as not to be indecent. This, for some reason, didn't strike me as especially problematic. Keep in mind, I'm actually a fairly boring, fashion-challenged individual in real life. You know, the type of person who finds jokes like the one below just hilarious:

 Also the kind of person who has probably never stepped out of the house in an outfit that could not also double over for visiting her grandmother. The advantage to this style (if you can call it that) is that when I do dress up, I usually get great reactions because the gap is so big from my day-to-day makeup-free jeans and t-shirt look. Anyhow, back to the peach dress. It was strapless, and ended below my bum but substantially before my knee. Quite fitted. It accentuated the results of my latest workout regime and my new tan. I already had visions of wearing this dress to go sign the divorce papers when the time comes. I had even picked out accessories and shoes (hanging pearl earrings, a cute little white elbow-length sweater, and matching white heels). I would wear makeup and put my hair up (that'll show him).

A longer, looser version of what I tried on

In the midst of my daydreaming about me and the little peach dress living happily ever after together, I dropped something in the change room. As I bent over to pick it up, I noticed my bum was immediately about 5 degrees cooler than it had been. I quickly pieced together (I mean, I am an intellectual badass, after all) that the dress coverage was not sufficient in the bent over position. Obvious solution: wear the dress only to standing cocktail parties and the like, then outright refuse to pick up anything off the ground. I am embarrassed to say it was at least another 20 minutes before the more rational side of me took over, and forced me to put the dress back on the rack and leave the store. I still smile fondly when I remember the little peach dress. I hope it finds a good home.

By the time I got back home, it was evening. I had a quick dinner and then set up for my pity party: computer streaming love songs (I don't own a radio yet), strawberry smoothie (in retrospect, this was probably an occasion where opening the bottle of wine in my cupboard would have been entirely appropriate), and spa products (a wonderful gift from my mother, who very correctly assumed I would enjoy them but would not splurge on myself). So, there I was, by myself in my dimly lit apartment, soaking my feet and reflecting on the perfect summer day not that many years ago when I got married. I vividly remember looking up at my husband during our first dance, immensely grateful that I would never again be alone - here was the man who would be the father of my children, the man I would grow old with, the man I loved with all I had in me. It was precisely at this moment that I noticed my little pity party station did not include Kleenex. Some creative stretching so as not to spill my foot bath on the floor, and that situation was quickly fixed. I continued my jaunt down memory lane. The Kleenexes continued to pile up. It was cathartic. Somehow, the videos in my head of my life with my husband began to sting a little less. Watching the story of our life together unfold from this vantage point, I could begin to see that the end was inevitable -- not that this somehow diminished the heartache, sadly, it just helped with accepting things couldn't be otherwise.

And so, marching forward, my goal is to keep my chin up and accept that my new life is what it is, and that the past was what it was.

Girls' Night

Snacks & sangria at girls' night.

It had been more than six years since the last time I had hosted a girls' night. I was due.
Lucky for me, it just so happens that a number of my closest friends have all moved to the same city in recent months/years. And, they were all free on the same night as another friend was visiting from out of town. So, I had a wonderful group of ladies to invite over. None of them had met each other before mind you, but they had each heard stories about how special they all are to me.

It was a great evening. I had forgotten how much I enjoy girls' nights. It's so easy to get caught up in work, household chores, relationships, etc. While I was married, I got kind of lazy in the social organization department. I really regret not investing more time into my relationships with my girl friends during that time sans husband in tow.  I think I lost of a bit of myself by not socializing very much as an individual.

I plan to make a point of organizing more girls' nights over the next year.

Image from here.

Running

Exercise is a key component of self-care. This is the story of how I became a runner.

Growing up, I was not exactly the most athletic kid. Throwing, catching, hitting a ball – not my thing. I didn’t fare much better in gymnastics; I still can’t do a cartwheel. I failed the last level of swimming lessons I was registered in… twice. My parents were very supportive of me trying various sports, but alas, no hidden talent emerged. I hated gym class because it showcased my lack of coordination and speed. The last time I played volleyball, which was in 9^th grade, I distinctly remember a player of the opposite team yelling at me to “just get the ball OVER the net!!!”

I joined a gym toward the end of high school. This worked out well because you don’t need lightning-fast reflexes to lift weights. I eventually tried an aerobics class, which, remarkably, was not a total disaster. And then, one summer in college, I decided that someday I would run a half marathon. The idea of becoming a runner felt like the craziest concept I could dream up. Becoming an astrophysicist seemed much more plausible (and, to be frank, probably was). Initially, I persisted more out of sheer stubbornness than any real enjoyment. I liked the idea of being a runner. And, many of my friends at school ran. I didn’t want to be left out when we all discussed routes and times over lunch at the cafeteria.

Gradually, running went from being a painful chore to something more like a moving meditation. I finally understood what people meant by the “runner’s high,” or feeling like they could “run forever.” Slowly, I built my mileage up to distances that had previously seemed utterly insane. The first time I ran ten kilometres, I was by myself at the univeristy track in the evening. I remember digging deep to continue putting one foot in front of the other, telling myself I could complete just one more loop. Finishing ten kilometres felt like conquering the world. I was walking on clouds for weeks. Now, ten kilometres is a casual Sunday run. In recent years, I have completed three half-marathons and a number of 10K and 5K races. Most races, I tend to finish somewhere in the middle of the pack.

The biggest gift running has given me, beyond a more robust cardiovascular system, is the realization that so much of what we accomplish and how we see ourselves is a choice. There are so many things that make me think, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly…” or “That is SO not me…” Spontaneous dancing in public, putting together a well-accessorized outfit, and public speaking all quickly come to mind. Over the course of the upcoming year, I plan to challenge these and many other assumptions I have about myself. Running topped the list for a long time,. Now, it brings such richness to my life. Who knows what else there is out there for me if I just stay open to trying new things.

Yoga on the Cheap



David Swenson - my yoga hero.

Yoga and I have enjoyed an on again, off again relationship for the last 15 years. Getting divorced seemed like as good a season as any to get reacquainted with this old friend. The biggest barrier to attending classes regularly, for me, is cost. The yoga studio down the street, for example, charges $17 for a 90-minute drop-in session. You can get a bit of a discount with bulk passes, but it's still upwards of $12/class unless you sign up for a monthly unlimited membership. I had thought of splurging and doing just that, but when I crunched the numbers, I realized that the $90/mt price tag is just too steep for my budget.

So, I went on a quest to find yoga on the cheap. These are my finds:

1. Special new student offers

Many yoga studios will offer a significant discount on your first class. Others offer an inexpensive rate for your first week or month. The studio down the street for me has a $20 for 1 week unlimited yoga package. I recently took advantage of this offer, and managed to fit in 5 hatha yoga classes, 1 yoga nidra class, and 1 meditation class.

2. Passport to Prana

Passport to Prana (~$30, depending on your city) allows you to access one trial yoga class at numerous studios across the city. It's a great way to try out many new studios without needing to make a big financial commitment. The passport expires one year after purchase.

3. Check out your local gym

Many mainstream gyms (e.g. GoodLife, YMCA) offer yoga classes as part of their regular membership package. Often, the monthly gym fees are about half of what you would pay for membership at a yoga studio.



4. Community centres

Yoga is quite popular right now, and the demand means more and more community centres are offering affordable classes for the general public.

5. Yoga DVD’s

Yoga DVD’s can be a nice way to fit in an at-home workout at a convenient time. For a little variety, check out your local library's collection. My favourite yoga DVD is David Swenson’s Ashtanga Primary Series (completing the entire series is on my bucket list).

A word of caution: The primary concern with yoga videos is that the absence of a teacher can lead to potentially injurious posturing. If you are a beginner, it is worth signing up for an introductory class to learn the basics.

6. MyYogaOnline.com

Two-week free trial advertised here. Members can stream unlimited classes while in the comfort of their living room. What I love about this idea is that it fits in very nicely with my chaotic work schedule. I haven't tried it yet, but a close friend subscribed a while back and just adores the program.

7. Richard Hittleman's Yoga: 28 DayExercise Plan

I bought my copy about fifteen years ago when I was a high school student who couldn’t touch her toes. For $11 and a time investment of less than 30 mins/day, it’s not a bad deal.
(And, yes, now I can touch my toes. In fact, I have become flexible to the point that people make comments while I stretch at the gym. Thank you, Mr. Hittleman.)

Relaxation Routines

This is the first image that comes up when you Google 'Relaxation'

My relaxation moments keep getting squeezed out of my schedule. Starting today, I am hoping to recommit to the process. And so, I solicit your tips on how to relax and what types of relaxation routines help you maintain your inner zen. I've shared a few of the things I enjoy below:

- Yoga magazine + bubble bath
- Good book + blanket + couch + chai tea (Tazo brand, made with soy milk and honey)
- Piano + darkened room
- Long nature hike

Thought Bite: Baggage

Spa Product Course

One of my classmates' creations

 While visiting with a friend recently, I attended a do-it-yourself spa product course. I'm generally not one to use tons of spa-like products, but I figure that since it is self-care month, I should make a bit of an effort. I love the idea of only using edible products on my skin. A recent experiment with rubbing garlic on my feet (in the cadre of a culinary pharmacy workshop) demonstrated to what point I absorb things through my skin (I had terrible garlic breath the next morning).

Over the course of three hours, we were introduced to the properties and smells of various essential oils and had the opportunity to create our own products.

This is what I made:
Massage oil: super easy - just add your favourite essential oil to an almond oil carrier (this is the little bottle in the photo). I chose lemongrass + basil + cypress. Based on my class notes, this combination should help tone my skin and reduce cellulitis.

For the next three products, our teacher had to change the recipe that was in our handout on the fly because of product shortages, so I am including recipes from other websites that are similar.

Massage bar: cypress + pine + wintergreen (to soothe muscles)

1/3 butter (cocoa, shea, mango, kokum, etc.)
1/3 oil (sweet almond, jojoba, any light oils are nice)
1/3 wax (beeswax, soy wax)

Melt the above contents (in a double boiler) and pour into a jar or a mold (candy molds work well) and once hardened pop it out of the mold and you have a massage bar.

Exfoliating scrub: lemongrass + lavender (to calm)
1/2 cup oil. Use sweet almond, grapeseed or another light-textured
1 cup fine sea salt
5-15 drops high quality essential oils
Put the salt (or sugar) in a small bowl.

Add the oil, mixing well with a spoon or wooden stick. The texture should be moist enough to hold together, but not overly oily. You can adjust the amount of oil to achieve that texture.
Gently tap in the drops of essential oil and combine well.

Body mask: tea tree (chosen to mask the scent of the seaweed, not for aromatherapy reasons)
Add a small amount of cold-pressed organic oil to hydrated clay, and mix well.
Grind finely a good macrobiotic sea salt and kelp (in a food processor or coffee grinder).
Mix the salt and kelp in with the clay and oil.

Learning points from the DIY spa experience
- Making high quality, all-natural cosmetic products is actually pretty easy. It's also way cheaper than buying commerically made equivalents.
- When I have products around that I love, I actually use them. Since the class, I have been having a weekly solo spa night in my apartment. It feels great.
- I have a new respect for essential oils. I used to just think they smelled nice. Now that I have experienced a zen-like feeling post exfoliation and had my muscles soothed after using my massage butter post-long run, I realize that there is more to aromatherapy than just nice smells. In fact, I'm actually quite keen to learn more.

Anyone else have any experience with DIY cosmetics or aromatherapy? Any tips?