Monday 29 October 2012

How to Inadvertently Start Dating Again

First, I apologize for the lack of blog posts this month. I had intended on spending the month simplifying my life, but I actually made it more complex. In the midst of the complexity and chaos, something had to give. Unfortunately, it was the blog. However, that said, I realized I miss blogging. The exercise forces me to reflect on my personal growth journey and move forward, rather than stagnate or spin my wheels in anxious circles. So, I'll try to update things more frequently in the future.

So, the question on everyone's mind, it seems (based on all the emails and texts I have been receiving), is where have I been this month. The answer is twofold. First, I have been clocking in an ungodly number of hours at my job. Second - and, to be frank, the real reason blogging got the boot for a few weeks - I met a boy.

This is the story of how I inadvertently started dating again.

You all remember Sam, I'm sure (the Sam stories are apparently some of the most popular posts on this blog). In case you don't, the story in a nutshell is that my coworker's roommate hit on me at a party over the summer. More recently, my coworker reintroduced us on the pretext that we both wanted to learn to dance and should therefore take lessons together. I told Sam I didn't want to date anybody, was getting divorced, blah, blah, blah... He said that was fine and suggested we be friends.

THEN, I had a super crappy day at work. Like the kind of bad day that at the end of my career I will look back on and be all like "Whoa, now THAT was a bad day!" I got home from work much later than expected. It just happened that this was the evening Sam was supposed to drop by for tea to discuss dance lessons. Sam offered to postpone when he realized I was running so late. I said I was really busy that week, so better just to leave our plans as they were (Confession: in my head, I was thinking "I don't want to give up another weeknight over this"). I walk in the door, change into yoga pants, a camouflage workout shirt, and a hoodie. In my head, this was not a date. I was tired and grumpy. I was in my own apartment. I like yoga pants and hoodies.

Sam came later than I had said was the minimum time I needed to wolf down some dinner before he arrived ("I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," he later said). Now, unlike yours truly, Sam arrived freshly showered, nicely dressed, smelling really nice, and had a bottle of wine in hand. Dance lessons never came up in the ensuing conversation, and the evening didn't entirely end on a platonic note. Ok, I just realized that sounds way more suggestive than what actually happened. He kissed me. That's it. And you know what, it had been a long time since someone had kissed me. It was nice. We agreed to see each again.

The next couple of weeks established a pattern of evening visits involving tea at my apartment with me in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, and him nicely dressed and freshly showered. He eventually told me that he was willing to tolerate the yoga pants, but that the camouflage workout shirt had to be reserved for workouts only. I guess this is fair.

And so, it's been about a month now. I don't think this is my Mr. Right, but he really has been a gift in my life as a Mr. Right Now. I'll write more about lessons from Sam in weeks to come.

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